With advances in medical care, parents are living longer. My mom told me that her mom died in her 40’s or 50′ due to a goiter. A goiter is a swelling in the neck caused by an enlarged thyroid gland. My mom never told me any details, but I assume that her mom would not have died from a goiter with today’s medical care. Perhaps her mom would have lived to the age of 92 like my mom did before she died.

With that in mind, there are a lot of people over the age of 50 who are caring for their parents who are in their 70’s, 80’s, or 90’s. The term “sandwich generation” doesnt fit b/c the sandwich generation refers to someone taking care of aging parents and dependent children at the same time., so that term doesn’t fit. “Caregiver” is the most widely used term for anyone providing care to another person who needs assistance, including elderly parents. So I guess the best term to use is “family caregiver. With more parents living longer, there are a lot more caregivers. I know of several, and so do you.

What is the difference in a caregiver and a caretaker? “A “caregiver” primarily focuses on providing personal care and emotional support to an individual who needs assistance, often due to age, illness, or disability, while a “caretaker” generally manages the upkeep and maintenance of a property or location, with less emphasis on direct personal care and emotional connection; essentially, a caregiver is more focused on the person, while a caretaker is more focused on the place.” (AI) I am talking about caregivers especially in this article.

We should say a prayer for all caregivers, but today I am focussing on people over 50 who take care of aged parents. These caregivers have their own health concerns and interests, and yet they unselfishly and lovingly take care of their aged parents. They might also have stressors with their own adult children or grandchildren, so they could still be “sandwiched” between those stressors even though their children are no longer dependents and are grown. They might like to be free to travel as they retire before they themselves get too old or unable to travel due to health. They see people on facebook enjoying travel often to many beautiful places and would love to do that, but they unselfishly pretty much give up that freedom to take care of their aged parents. Hopefully they have a sibling who helps, although many times siblings don’t unite to take care of their aged parents. As you read this, you probably think of many scenarios that you personally know of those who take care of aged parents, some good and some not so good scenarios.

The Bible speaks of the responsibility of children and grandchildren to take care of older parents (or grandparents as the case may be). 1 Timothy 5:4“If a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God”. You probably know of an aged person who lost his/her spouse and how difficult that is. I am so thankful for my children who were so faithful to help look after my mom (their grandmother) in her last years after my dad died (he died at 74), just as they did with my wife’s mother after my wife’s dad died. Becoming a widow or widower in later years changes the whole situation. My wife’s mom and dad were married and together for 75 years or so before her dad died. So now her mom can only look at pictures of her deceased husband that hang all over the house.

Ephesians 6:2“Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise”. The “promise” associated with the “first commandment with promise” is that if you honor your father and mother, “it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land,” essentially signifying a long and prosperous life as a result of respecting your parents. The command to “honor your father and mother” was the 5th of the 10 commandments given to Moses on Mt Sinai. It was the only one, and the first, of the 10 that had a “promise” attached to it so that shows how important honoring parents was/is to God. Many other commands with promises of health and prosperity followed that in the Law of Moses, but honoring parents was perhaps the most important of all those other commands with promises.

Then in Proverbs 23:22 “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old”. The Hebrew word for “despise” is buz: Contempt, scorn, disdain. Fathers have their role as the spiritual leaders, teaching and training their children in the Lord. Mothers have their role giving birth and caring for those little babies. It is sad to see some older adult children who treat their moms with scorn. Sometimes maybe they are angry at their aged moms over money and inheritance issues. Maybe they are angry over how their parents raised them: maybe their parents were “bad” parents. Maybe you could make a case that their moms don’t deserve respect. Maybe their moms are even bitter, selfish people. Maybe their moms showed favoritism toward a sibling brother or sister. It doesn’t matter. Aged moms are to be honored and cared for. Especially “when she is old”. Sometimes moms get difficult to deal with as they get very old. It doesn’t matter. You probably can think of some adult children who “despised” their aged moms. They even leave the burden of caring for aged moms to their siblings. There is nothing more despicable than an adult child who doesn’t take care of his/her aged moms. Those moms changed all their diapers when they were little, and now it’s time to change their aged parents’ diapers if that need be, and often does.

So again, just say a prayer for all caregivers (and caretakers) Look around. You probably know of some caregivers. Maybe there is some little thing that you can do to help them. Maybe volunteer to be a sitter so the caregiver can get a break. Maybe provide a meal. Maybe take the caregiver out to eat and talk. Maybe just tell a caregiver how much you admire and appreciate their unselfish sacrifice.

Then there are those caregivers who take care of special needs children or relatives. There are the “sandwich generation” who take care of aging parents and their own dependent children. They “sandwiched” with the stress and responsibility of caring for both just like two pieces of bread sandwich in a piece of meat. They feel the pressure above and below them. You probably know someone like that also and maybe you can pray for and help them.

Some scolded the woman who anointed Jesus’ head with an expensive ointment, saying the money could have been spent better helping the poor. Mark 14:⁶ But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. ⁷ For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. ⁸ She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. ⁹ And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.”

“She has done what she could”. God gives each of us unique abilities and opportunities. He doesn’t expect you to do more than use those for His glory. Maybe you can’t be a preacher or important leader off a big church. You just do what you can do. That’s all God expects. Who is the most important member of a church? It is probably those members who are out there taking care of the widows and orphans. James 1:²⁷ Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction”. Who is the greatest member?

Matthew20:25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but ^kto serve, and ^lto give his life as a ransom for many.” The greatest member of a church might just be that caregiver in the flock.

Just do what you can!