Tag: family

COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS

On By nrfaughtLeave a comment

Another Sunday morning McDonalds’ egg McMuffin senior coffee 7 AM with wife. The one we go to is very clean. A man was out pressure washing the entire parking lot, and it seems that they do that regularly. Another man does nothing but clean inside. So we get two overpriced muffin, egg, Canadian bacon breakfast sandwiches but the 2nd one is only $1 with the app. Senior coffee is 69 cents. Can’t beat that! The joy of being a senior citizen!

The managers are very nice. They have come to know us as regulars. The lady manager was telling me that she lost her daughter in a car wreck 5 years ago. I asked her if today, mother’s day, was tough on her and she said it was, but she clinched a necklace that she was wearing that was her daughter’s or was given to her by her daughter (I don’t listen to details very well!) and said that she was doing ok. She also told me that her family had a history of early deaths due to cancer but that she didn’t even want to know if she had cancer b/c she was ready to just go to be with her daughter. Sounds like Paul, doesn’t it? He said that he would rather just die and go to be with the Lord. We gave her a nice tip to eat out on and that felt good. But most of all, it made us thankful that God has blessed us with 3 grown healthy children who have godly marriages and are raising godly families. Tragedy has never struck our house. Parents dying, yes, but never a tragedy like losing a child. I hope I could be as positive as that lady manager if I had a tragedy of losing a child.

Also I must mention the debate over whether I should buy flowers for my wife on mother’s day. I had someone trying to make me feel guilty b/c I wasn’t going to buy flowers for my wife today. I argued that my wife was not my mother. My mother passed away in 2010. “But your wife is your children’s mother!” was the counter argument. “Excatly”, I said. “So my children should buy their mother flowers, not me.” I have had two or three people agree with me on this. So on the way home from House of the Harvest yesterday morning, I stop to buy chicken livers at Publix (for my grandson to fish with) and I see all these overpriced flower bouquets. To appease the person making me feel guilty for not buying flowers for my wife on mother’s day, I bought a bouquet. At least I wasn’t hypocritical about it. I told my wife that the main reason I bought the bouquet was so I would not be criticized for not buying. She just laughed so I guess all is well! Such is life in our family and 54 years of marriage. Actually I did buy them for my wife also. They look very nice on our kitchen bar and she likes them. Maybe I’m not totally bad.

What’s that song? “Count your many blessings, name them one by one. And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”

Here are the lyrics to the song for us to meditate on today:

1 When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Refrain:
Count your blessings, name them one by one;
Count your blessings, see what God hath done;
Count your blessings, name them one by one;
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.

2 Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by. [Refrain]

3 When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings, money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high. [Refrain]

4 So, amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end. [Refrain]

From staugustine.com. “Gipsy Smith, a famous evangelist of yesteryear, said of this song, “Men sing it, boys whistle it and women rock their babies to sleep to it.”

Johnson Oatman, Jr., born April 21, 1856, was a citizen of Lumberton, N.J. His dad was a local merchant and just happened to be the best singer in town, with a rich, powerful voice. Young Johnson could not sing as well as his father, yet he grew up wanting to make some musical contributions of his own. However, for a time he worked in the family business, but soon gave up those opportunities and began to study for the ministry. After finishing school and ministering in the Methodist Episcopal churches for a time, Johnson continued to hope that life surely held some other plans for him.

At 36, he realized that he did, without question, have a musical talent after all. He could write songs for other Christians to sing. So, every year some 200 songs flowed from his pen. He eventually had written 5,000 songs and was happy that in his musical compositions he had found a way to “preach the Gospel.”

Of all the songs Oatman wrote. he seemed to claim as his own favorites, “No, Not One” (1895) and “Higher Ground (1898).” (In the Church of Christ we sang these songs many, many times).

However, people everywhere seemed to adopt another of his very special songs, “Count Your Blessings,” written in 1897. Almost immediately it began its meteoric journey.” Oatman died in 1922.

If you can’t sing, write songs for others to sing!


HONORING CAREGIVERS

On By nrfaughtLeave a comment

With advances in medical care, parents are living longer. My mom told me that her mom died in her 40’s or 50′ due to a goiter. A goiter is a swelling in the neck caused by an enlarged thyroid gland. My mom never told me any details, but I assume that her mom would not have died from a goiter with today’s medical care. Perhaps her mom would have lived to the age of 92 like my mom did before she died.

With that in mind, there are a lot of people over the age of 50 who are caring for their parents who are in their 70’s, 80’s, or 90’s. The term “sandwich generation” doesnt fit b/c the sandwich generation refers to someone taking care of aging parents and dependent children at the same time., so that term doesn’t fit. “Caregiver” is the most widely used term for anyone providing care to another person who needs assistance, including elderly parents. So I guess the best term to use is “family caregiver. With more parents living longer, there are a lot more caregivers. I know of several, and so do you.

What is the difference in a caregiver and a caretaker? “A “caregiver” primarily focuses on providing personal care and emotional support to an individual who needs assistance, often due to age, illness, or disability, while a “caretaker” generally manages the upkeep and maintenance of a property or location, with less emphasis on direct personal care and emotional connection; essentially, a caregiver is more focused on the person, while a caretaker is more focused on the place.” (AI) I am talking about caregivers especially in this article.

We should say a prayer for all caregivers, but today I am focussing on people over 50 who take care of aged parents. These caregivers have their own health concerns and interests, and yet they unselfishly and lovingly take care of their aged parents. They might also have stressors with their own adult children or grandchildren, so they could still be “sandwiched” between those stressors even though their children are no longer dependents and are grown. They might like to be free to travel as they retire before they themselves get too old or unable to travel due to health. They see people on facebook enjoying travel often to many beautiful places and would love to do that, but they unselfishly pretty much give up that freedom to take care of their aged parents. Hopefully they have a sibling who helps, although many times siblings don’t unite to take care of their aged parents. As you read this, you probably think of many scenarios that you personally know of those who take care of aged parents, some good and some not so good scenarios.

The Bible speaks of the responsibility of children and grandchildren to take care of older parents (or grandparents as the case may be). 1 Timothy 5:4“If a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God”. You probably know of an aged person who lost his/her spouse and how difficult that is. I am so thankful for my children who were so faithful to help look after my mom (their grandmother) in her last years after my dad died (he died at 74), just as they did with my wife’s mother after my wife’s dad died. Becoming a widow or widower in later years changes the whole situation. My wife’s mom and dad were married and together for 75 years or so before her dad died. So now her mom can only look at pictures of her deceased husband that hang all over the house.

Ephesians 6:2“Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise”. The “promise” associated with the “first commandment with promise” is that if you honor your father and mother, “it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land,” essentially signifying a long and prosperous life as a result of respecting your parents. The command to “honor your father and mother” was the 5th of the 10 commandments given to Moses on Mt Sinai. It was the only one, and the first, of the 10 that had a “promise” attached to it so that shows how important honoring parents was/is to God. Many other commands with promises of health and prosperity followed that in the Law of Moses, but honoring parents was perhaps the most important of all those other commands with promises.

Then in Proverbs 23:22 “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old”. The Hebrew word for “despise” is buz: Contempt, scorn, disdain. Fathers have their role as the spiritual leaders, teaching and training their children in the Lord. Mothers have their role giving birth and caring for those little babies. It is sad to see some older adult children who treat their moms with scorn. Sometimes maybe they are angry at their aged moms over money and inheritance issues. Maybe they are angry over how their parents raised them: maybe their parents were “bad” parents. Maybe you could make a case that their moms don’t deserve respect. Maybe their moms are even bitter, selfish people. Maybe their moms showed favoritism toward a sibling brother or sister. It doesn’t matter. Aged moms are to be honored and cared for. Especially “when she is old”. Sometimes moms get difficult to deal with as they get very old. It doesn’t matter. You probably can think of some adult children who “despised” their aged moms. They even leave the burden of caring for aged moms to their siblings. There is nothing more despicable than an adult child who doesn’t take care of his/her aged moms. Those moms changed all their diapers when they were little, and now it’s time to change their aged parents’ diapers if that need be, and often does.

So again, just say a prayer for all caregivers (and caretakers) Look around. You probably know of some caregivers. Maybe there is some little thing that you can do to help them. Maybe volunteer to be a sitter so the caregiver can get a break. Maybe provide a meal. Maybe take the caregiver out to eat and talk. Maybe just tell a caregiver how much you admire and appreciate their unselfish sacrifice.

Then there are those caregivers who take care of special needs children or relatives. There are the “sandwich generation” who take care of aging parents and their own dependent children. They “sandwiched” with the stress and responsibility of caring for both just like two pieces of bread sandwich in a piece of meat. They feel the pressure above and below them. You probably know someone like that also and maybe you can pray for and help them.

Some scolded the woman who anointed Jesus’ head with an expensive ointment, saying the money could have been spent better helping the poor. Mark 14:6 But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 7 For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. 8 She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. 9 And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.”

“She has done what she could”. God gives each of us unique abilities and opportunities. He doesn’t expect you to do more than use those for His glory. Maybe you can’t be a preacher or important leader off a big church. You just do what you can do. That’s all God expects. Who is the most important member of a church? It is probably those members who are out there taking care of the widows and orphans. James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction”. Who is the greatest member?

Matthew20:25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but kto serve, and lto give his life as a ransom for many.” The greatest member of a church might just be that caregiver in the flock.

Just do what you can!

1 PETER 3:1-12. WIVES AND HUSBANDS; A SUMMARY OF CHRISTIAN TRAITS

On By nrfaughtLeave a comment

 1 Peter 3:1 In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your pure and respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely the external—braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; 4 but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way the holy women of former times, who hoped in God, also used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; and you have proved to be her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.“

“In the same way”: the same way as what? As 2:18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are harsh.” Another example of how Christians should respect and obey authority, whether it be masters over slaves, or the government. The emphasis is on obeying authority even if the authority is harsh or evil or mean or. oppressive. Paul taught that wives were to be submissive to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” But what if the husband is mean and verbally abuses her?Wives should be subject to their husbands even if they are disobedient to the word, i.e. non Christian. Imagine a first century woman becomes a Christian but her husband is a pagan who worships idols and mistreats her. Can she just up and leave? Should she brow-beat him constantly with the word of God telling him how evil he is? Nope. Be subject to, respectful to your husband. Have a gentle and quiet spirit. Be modest in your dress and jewelry. Imagine a vain wife who wears expensive clothes and jewelry, who spends hours beautifying herself, and then she nags at her husband about him not being a Christian. That’s the picture here. Sarah is the example of a submissive, respectful wife. She followed Abraham from Ur, leaving whatever family she had there. When God called Abraham to leave Haran, she followed apparently without questioning his actions. She was a submissive wife for 62 years, moving around Canaan without ever owning any of the land God promised Abraham, apparently never complaining. What’s even worse, she was humiliated when Abraham lied to Pharoah, telling him that Sarah was his sister in order to save his own life. God intervened and stopped Pharoah from keeping her, but how in the world did she continue to respect and be submissive to her cowardly husband. To make it worse, Abraham repeated the same lie later with Abimelech the Philistine. But Sarah stayed submissive to Abraham. I suppose she never even tried to tell Pharoah or Abimelech that she was Abraham’s wife and not his sister. Again, the theme of obeying authority even if the authority does not deserve respect, just like servants with harsh masters. Sarah, like Abraham had her bad moments, like when she got Abraham to have a child by Hagar, like when she drove Hagar and Ishmael out to the consternation of Abraham, like when she laughed at the 3 angels announcing the birth of Isaac. Sarah becomes the example for all wives of times. On a side note, does vs 3 mean that Christian wives cannot braid their hair or wear gold jewelry? Throw in 1 Timothy 2:9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.” They can’t wear pearls or expensive clothes. Actually this looks like a pretty clear command! Women in the Pentecostal Church are not allowed to wear jewelry. They take the command to be obeyed literally. Most Christians take it to mean just don’t be excessive or vain in dress or jewelry. It’s kinda funny how my church always picked and chose which commands are to be taken literally and which can be obeyed in some other way. Like foot washing. Jesus said, John 13:14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” That sounds like a clear command, and yet most churches do not teach it as a command for us today (although they would allow it). They say the command was “cultural” and can be fulfilled in other ways than washing feet, such as humbly serving others. Or the command, 2 Corinthians 13:12 Greet one another with a holy kiss.” They say that was cultural and we don’t have to obey that literally. You can obey it by shaking hands or a hug. Or the women wearing a veil when praying or prophesying aloud in an audience with men present. Some women in my church do take that literally and they wear a little doily in the assembly, but most say our women don’t have to obey that command literally. I’ll leave the women’s clothes and jewelry up to you ladies! It does make you question how my church could act so judgmental about which commands should be obeyed literally and which don’t have to be. My church would say that churches who don’t take the Lord’s Supper every week are apostate, disobedient churches, and yet the scriptures they use to support their arguments for weekly Lord’s Supper observance are less clear than the commands to foot wash or not wear jewelry. Again, they just “pick and chose” which commands to obey literally.

1 Peter 3:7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” Paul taught husbands: Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Peter adds another element: “live with your wife in an understanding way since she is weaker since she is a woman”. “Since she is a woman” tells you that the “weaker” is referring to, in general, that the woman is not as strong physically as the man. Most women can’t protect themselves like a man can (there are always exceptions). Women are designed by God to have the emotional makeup to have and nurse babies, which might leave them a little more vulnerable to be taken advantage of than men (Eve was deceived by Satan but Adam was not). Is that part of the “weaker” also? Husband should understand the limitations of their wives as women and take care of them. As Paul said, “nourish and cherish them” in their needs as the weaker sex. If you don’t, your prayers will be hindered!

1 Peter 3:8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble; 9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you would inherit a blessing. 10 For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days,
Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. 11 He must turn away from evil and do good; He must seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, And His ears attend to their prayer, But the face of the Lord is against evildoers.”

Wow! What a summary of the traits every Christian should have! As I read vs 8, I am thinking, “how loving, compassionate, etc. am I?” Do I really feel compassion when I see someone hurting or in need? Jesus is our example of compassion: Matthew 9:36-38J esus was moved with compassion for the crowds because they were scattered and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 14:14 Jesus had compassion on the large crowd he saw when he landed and healed their sick.” Would people say that I am a “loving” Christian? Christians cannot retaliate or seek vengeance when wronged. Instead, bless those who. persecute you. Matthew 5:10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Jesus even felt compassion for those who crucified him: “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing”. Seek peace and pursue it. Romans 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” The eyes of the Lord are always watching his children like a father or mother constantly watches their children to keep them safe. God is compassionate toward his children. Psalm 103:13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
14 For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.”