Some of the verses of “Only the lonely” by Roy Orbison:

Only the lonely
Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely
Know this feeling ain’t right. But only the lonely
Know why
I cry
Only the lonelyOnly the lonely
Only the lonelyOnly the lonely
Know the heartaches I’ve been through
Only the lonely
Know I cry and cry for you.

Listen to the song on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMShwAnph8k

Of course, that song was about him losing his sweetheart, his baby, but it epitomizes how the lonely feel. Maybe he is right. Only the lonely can understand how being lonely feels. David knew how it felt.

Psalm 25:16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. ¹⁸ Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. The Hebrew word for lonely is yachid: Only, solitary, unique, beloved. It is often translated “only”, or “only one” or “only son” but twice it is translated “lonely” (here and Ps 68:6).

Psalm 68:6 God makes a home for the lonely;

I guess I should be writing my own words on loneliness, but sometimes it is good just to quote from someone who already has great words on a topic,and such is the case here.

Gotquestions.org has a good article on loneliness.

“Being alone and being lonely are two different things. One can be alone without being lonely, and one can be lonely in a crowded room. Loneliness is, therefore, a state of mind, an emotion brought on by feelings of separation from other human beings. The sense of isolation is very deeply felt by those who are lonely. The Hebrew word translated “desolate” or “lonely” in the Old Testament means “one alone, only; one who is solitary, forsaken, wretched.” There is no deeper sadness that ever comes over the mind than the idea that we are alone in the world, that we do not have a friend, that no one cares for us, that no one is concerned about anything that might happen to us, that no one would care if we were to die or shed a tear over our grave.

No one felt loneliness more keenly than David. In a series of earnest, heartfelt appeals to God, David cried out in his loneliness and despair. His own son had risen up against him, the men of Israel went after him, and he was forced to flee from the city, and leave his house and family. Lonely and afflicted (Psalm 25:16), his only recourse was to turn to God and plead for mercy and God’s intervention (Psalm 25:21) because his only hope was in God. It is interesting to note that the word “lonely” is never used in the New Testament to describe people. In the New Testament, the word “lonely” only occurs twice and both times refers to desolate places (Mark 1:45; Luke 5:16), where Jesus moved off into the wilderness to be alone.

Whatever the cause of loneliness, for the Christian the cure is always the same—the comforting fellowship of Christ. That loving relationship with our Master has reassured and encouraged countless thousands who languished in prisons and even went to their deaths for His sake. He is the friend who “sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24), who lays down His life for His friends (John 15:13-15), and who has promised never to leave us or forsake us but to be with us until the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). We can take comfort in the words of the old hymn that says it best: “Friends may fail me, foes assail me, He is with me to the end. Hallelujah, what a Savior!””

Some great thoughts. “Being alone and being lonely are two different things. One can be alone without being lonely, and one can be lonely in a crowded room.” I like being alone, and don’t always feel lonely when I am alone, though sometimes I am alone and lonely. I can be in a crowd and feel isolated and lonely if I am not fitting in. ” Loneliness is, therefore, a state of mind, an emotion brought on by feelings of separation from other human beings.” Sometimes I want to be alone, to not be part of the group. Our family made trips to Puerto Rico and Costa Rica in the last two summers. I am a pain to travel with b/c i am always worrying about something that might go wrong, about plane delays, about some of our family missing a flight, about not making it to the ferry on time to get to the island we were staying in, about someone getting hurt on the trip, about the best place to stay, about catching the flight home on time. I worry for the whole group, not just for myself. I actually thought to myself, “maybe it would be better if I just stayed home and let them go. Less stressful for me and for them also b/c they handle every situation easily. But then I thought, “as soon as I stay home and they fly out, I will feel a deep sense of isolation and loneliness.” So I go and try to deal with the stress. It really helps when they completely take over the planning of the trip and handle any situations that come up.

I think back to my college days. I was raised in Birmingham, Alabama and spend my first year of college at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. I was miserable the whole time. I had friends, but not close friends. I kept myself busy with studying (engineering courses), but I headed home to B’ham as soon as that last class ended on Friday. I delayed going back to T-town as long as I could, usually going back on Sunday evening or even Monday morning at times. My girlfriend and wife to be was back in B’ham and I missed her. I didn’t have a cell phone or face time. The only communication I got from her was a letter she usually sent on Monday and I would get it on Wednesday. I would write her a letter on Monday and she would get it on Wednesday. We found those mushy letters recently and just laughed at them. I think I can say that I truly felt lonely. Finally, after one year in Tuscaloosa, I decided, “Why am I doing this?” I came home and spent the next 2 1/2 finishing my engineering degree at UAB back when UAB was one building only in the south side of B’ham. But I was happy being back at home. I saw my girlfriend more, but it wasn’t just that. I just enjoyed being in my home, my own room, not having a bunch of guys around in the dorm or apartment we stayed in. I was lonely in Tuscaloosa even though I wasn’t alone, but I wasn’t lonely in B’ham even though I was alone.

So what advice might I give to someone who is lonely. First of all, if you aren’t happy where you are, change if you can. Why be unhappy and lonely if you can help it? David had no choice. Saul was pursuing him in the wilderness for 10 years. He could not go home to his parents. He had to leave them in the care of the king of Moab (1 Samuel 22:4-14). I was able to go home to live with my parents in B’ham. It wasn’t like I did a lot of things with them while I finished my degree at UAB. It was just being at home with them. I lived pretty much independent even while I was in my parents’ house. But I wasn’t lonely.

If you are lonely and would like to change your circumstances, but you can’t, then what can you do. There might be many reasons that you can’t change them. Maybe work or school related. Maybe financial. Of course here is where we cite Bible verses about God will always be with you and never forsake you. Maybe your family or friends forsake and leave you, but He never will.

• 1 Peter 5:7“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”. 
• Psalm 27:9-10“Do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me”. 
• Psalm 73:23-25“Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand. You will guide me with Your plan”. 
• Isaiah 41:10“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”

Maybe a closer and deeper relationship with God is the key to dealing with loneliness. From AI on the internet: “While there isn’t a direct translation of “lonely” in the New Testament, the Greek word most closely associated with the concept of loneliness is “eremos,” which means “desert place” or “solitude,” often used to describe Jesus going to secluded areas to be alone.” It is no coincidence that Jesus went to these solitary places to pray when under duress. Luke 5:¹⁵ But the news about Him was spreading even farther, and large crowds were gathering to hear Him and to be healed of their sicknesses. ¹⁶ But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness (erémos: Desert, wilderness, solitary place, desolate)and pray. Mark 1:⁴⁵ But he went out and began to proclaim it freely and to spread the news around, to such an extent that Jesus could no longer publicly enter a city, but stayed out in unpopulated areas (eremos); and they were coming to Him from everywhere.” Jesus just had to escape the people coming to him. It wasn’t that He didn’t love them or have compassion for them and their sicknesses. I mean he healed everyone who came to him and culled no one. But he needed his time alone with God in prayer, and that necessitated getting rid of all the distractions, pressures, and stressers. We need that kind of time alone with God. Get rid of all the clutter. Turn the phone off. Close the ipad. As Jesus said, get in a closet and pray. Like the movie, have a “Prayer room” dedicated to silence and prayer. Seek the wisdom and guidance of God. Maybe you are lonely where you are, but maybe God has you there for a reason and it would be bad to leave before He can accomplish HIs plans for you. Maybe you just need to tough it out until you think God is changing plans for you. Maybe being happy is not the main thing. If so, you need a prayer room to get the strength to keep doing God’s plan even if you are lonely. Jesus found those desert places, prayed alone with God, and then found the strength to go back to healing all those people he temporarily avoided.

If you are lonely but can’t change your circumstances, or even if you could change them but feel you need to stick it out so God can use you where you are to do HIs plans, then here is another suggestion. “A friend sticks closer than a brother” is a quote from the Bible, Proverbs 18:24. Often a good friend can help you deal with loneliness. Even more so than a family member perhaps. Maybe you don’t share a lot of things with your companions or coworkers or teammates. Maybe they like to do things that you don’t approve of, like drinking parties. Maybe you don’t approve of how they talk or gossip or curse. But a good friend is one you can talk to, share you feelings of loneliness with. Maybe just you and your friend can sit and talk or go somewhere or relax and watch TV or a movie. You might not even talk. You might just be there quietly for one another. God is the one we should really rely one for comfort in our loneliness, but that comfort of God is a spiritual thing of faith that you can’t see or touch. But often God uses close friends to give us His comfort. Pauls spoke of this in 2 Corinthians 1:³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God”. Good friends empathize and comfort each other with the comfort that God gives each one. I do have a few close friends that I get comfort from, and I am thankful for that.

One other suggestion. Go out serving others in some way. Go find a widow to visit and talk with. Go feed the poor at a local food bank. Go play with some young kids and take them somewhere and buy them candy. Go visit someone else’s grandparents if your grandparents are not near by. Go to a Bible study in a small group. Get an online Bible course to guide you in a deeper Bible study of a Bible book or topic. Get a friend or friends to join you in a small group. That will give you something to look forward to.

BTW this blog article is dedicated to someone I love and respect who asked me to write an article on loneliness. She might have just been joking b/c I have been flooding emails with numerous Biblical articles on Daniel, the 2nd coming, Romans 9-11, etc. Pretty heavy reading. But I decided to write that article on loneliness for her.