Tag: love

HONORING CAREGIVERS

On By nrfaughtLeave a comment

With advances in medical care, parents are living longer. My mom told me that her mom died in her 40’s or 50′ due to a goiter. A goiter is a swelling in the neck caused by an enlarged thyroid gland. My mom never told me any details, but I assume that her mom would not have died from a goiter with today’s medical care. Perhaps her mom would have lived to the age of 92 like my mom did before she died.

With that in mind, there are a lot of people over the age of 50 who are caring for their parents who are in their 70’s, 80’s, or 90’s. The term “sandwich generation” doesnt fit b/c the sandwich generation refers to someone taking care of aging parents and dependent children at the same time., so that term doesn’t fit. “Caregiver” is the most widely used term for anyone providing care to another person who needs assistance, including elderly parents. So I guess the best term to use is “family caregiver. With more parents living longer, there are a lot more caregivers. I know of several, and so do you.

What is the difference in a caregiver and a caretaker? “A “caregiver” primarily focuses on providing personal care and emotional support to an individual who needs assistance, often due to age, illness, or disability, while a “caretaker” generally manages the upkeep and maintenance of a property or location, with less emphasis on direct personal care and emotional connection; essentially, a caregiver is more focused on the person, while a caretaker is more focused on the place.” (AI) I am talking about caregivers especially in this article.

We should say a prayer for all caregivers, but today I am focussing on people over 50 who take care of aged parents. These caregivers have their own health concerns and interests, and yet they unselfishly and lovingly take care of their aged parents. They might also have stressors with their own adult children or grandchildren, so they could still be “sandwiched” between those stressors even though their children are no longer dependents and are grown. They might like to be free to travel as they retire before they themselves get too old or unable to travel due to health. They see people on facebook enjoying travel often to many beautiful places and would love to do that, but they unselfishly pretty much give up that freedom to take care of their aged parents. Hopefully they have a sibling who helps, although many times siblings don’t unite to take care of their aged parents. As you read this, you probably think of many scenarios that you personally know of those who take care of aged parents, some good and some not so good scenarios.

The Bible speaks of the responsibility of children and grandchildren to take care of older parents (or grandparents as the case may be). 1 Timothy 5:4“If a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God”. You probably know of an aged person who lost his/her spouse and how difficult that is. I am so thankful for my children who were so faithful to help look after my mom (their grandmother) in her last years after my dad died (he died at 74), just as they did with my wife’s mother after my wife’s dad died. Becoming a widow or widower in later years changes the whole situation. My wife’s mom and dad were married and together for 75 years or so before her dad died. So now her mom can only look at pictures of her deceased husband that hang all over the house.

Ephesians 6:2“Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise”. The “promise” associated with the “first commandment with promise” is that if you honor your father and mother, “it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land,” essentially signifying a long and prosperous life as a result of respecting your parents. The command to “honor your father and mother” was the 5th of the 10 commandments given to Moses on Mt Sinai. It was the only one, and the first, of the 10 that had a “promise” attached to it so that shows how important honoring parents was/is to God. Many other commands with promises of health and prosperity followed that in the Law of Moses, but honoring parents was perhaps the most important of all those other commands with promises.

Then in Proverbs 23:22 “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old”. The Hebrew word for “despise” is buz: Contempt, scorn, disdain. Fathers have their role as the spiritual leaders, teaching and training their children in the Lord. Mothers have their role giving birth and caring for those little babies. It is sad to see some older adult children who treat their moms with scorn. Sometimes maybe they are angry at their aged moms over money and inheritance issues. Maybe they are angry over how their parents raised them: maybe their parents were “bad” parents. Maybe you could make a case that their moms don’t deserve respect. Maybe their moms are even bitter, selfish people. Maybe their moms showed favoritism toward a sibling brother or sister. It doesn’t matter. Aged moms are to be honored and cared for. Especially “when she is old”. Sometimes moms get difficult to deal with as they get very old. It doesn’t matter. You probably can think of some adult children who “despised” their aged moms. They even leave the burden of caring for aged moms to their siblings. There is nothing more despicable than an adult child who doesn’t take care of his/her aged moms. Those moms changed all their diapers when they were little, and now it’s time to change their aged parents’ diapers if that need be, and often does.

So again, just say a prayer for all caregivers (and caretakers) Look around. You probably know of some caregivers. Maybe there is some little thing that you can do to help them. Maybe volunteer to be a sitter so the caregiver can get a break. Maybe provide a meal. Maybe take the caregiver out to eat and talk. Maybe just tell a caregiver how much you admire and appreciate their unselfish sacrifice.

Then there are those caregivers who take care of special needs children or relatives. There are the “sandwich generation” who take care of aging parents and their own dependent children. They “sandwiched” with the stress and responsibility of caring for both just like two pieces of bread sandwich in a piece of meat. They feel the pressure above and below them. You probably know someone like that also and maybe you can pray for and help them.

Some scolded the woman who anointed Jesus’ head with an expensive ointment, saying the money could have been spent better helping the poor. Mark 14:6 But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 7 For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. 8 She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. 9 And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.”

“She has done what she could”. God gives each of us unique abilities and opportunities. He doesn’t expect you to do more than use those for His glory. Maybe you can’t be a preacher or important leader off a big church. You just do what you can do. That’s all God expects. Who is the most important member of a church? It is probably those members who are out there taking care of the widows and orphans. James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction”. Who is the greatest member?

Matthew20:25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but kto serve, and lto give his life as a ransom for many.” The greatest member of a church might just be that caregiver in the flock.

Just do what you can!

1 CORINTHIANS 8-10 WHO IS THE WEAK BROTHER?

On By nrfaughtLeave a comment

1 Corinthians 8:1 Now concerning food sacrificed to idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge [a]makes one conceited, but love edifies people. 2 If anyone thinks that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know; 3 but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him.

4 Therefore, concerning the eating of food sacrificed to idols, we know that an idol is [b]nothing at all in the world, and that there is no God but one. 5 For even if there are so-called gods whether in heaven or on earth, as indeed there are many gods and many lords, 6 yet for us there is only one God, the Father, from whom are all things, and we exist for Him; and one Lord, Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we exist through Him.

7 However, not all people have this knowledge; but some, being accustomed to the idol until now, eat food as if it were sacrificed to an idol; and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. 8 Now food will not bring us [c]close to God; we are neither [d]the worse if we do not eat, nor [e]the better if we do eat. 9 But take care that this [f]freedom of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if someone sees you, the one who has knowledge, dining in an idol’s temple, will his conscience, if he is weak, not be strengthened to eat things sacrificed to idols? 11 For through your knowledge the one who is weak is ruined, the brother or sister for whose sake Christ died. 12 And so, by sinning against the brothers and sisters and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if food causes my brother to sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to sin.”

First let’s set the background for this issue of eating meat offered to idols. From Guzik: “The meat offered on pagan altars was usually divided into three portions. One portion was burnt in honor of the god, one portion was given to the worshipper to take home and eat, and the third portion was given to the priest. If the priest didn’t want to eat his portion, he sold it at the temple restaurant or meat market. The meat served and sold at the temple was generally cheaper. Then, as well as now, people loved a bargain (including Christians). Things offered to idols: The issue raised many questions for the Corinthian Christians: Can we eat meat purchased at the temple meat market? What if we are served meat purchased at the temple meat market when we are guests in someone’s home? Can a Christian eat at the restaurant at the pagan temple?” I don’t know if this was a Jew/Gentile issue or not. I don’t guess it has to be. But probably most of the Corinthian converts were of Gentile background. Some would have no problem eating meat that had been offered to idols since, as Paul said, there are no real gods behind those idols. Others might think it is wrong to eat that meat since it had been offered to a god and this might seem like participating in the idol worship that they had given up to become a Christian.

Paul’s points are these: 1) The correct “knowledge” on this issue is that it is ok to eat the meat offered to idols since there are no real gods behind those idols. 2) If you have this correct knowledge on the issue, don’t be arrogant with that knowledge when dealing with those who don’t have that knowledge. “Knowledge makes one conceited but love edifies people”. 3) Not all Christians have the correct knowledge on this issue. When they eat meat offered to idols, it makes them feel like they are still worshipping the gods of those idols like they used to do. Their conscience will tell them it is wrong to et that meat even if someone tells them it is ok. 4) If a Christian has a strong conviction, then it doesn’t matter if he eats or doesn’t eat the meat. It’s not a heaven/hell issue. 5) But if a Christian thinks it is wrong to eat the meat, then will violate his conscience in doing so and that is a sin even if it is not actually wrong to eat the met. The sin is that he violates his conscience. The “weak” brother in this matter is the one who violates his conscience whether he has the correct knowledge or not on the issue. 6) A brother with strong conviction and a strong conscience against eating the meat will watch you eat the meat and have no problem with it. He will not be tempted to eat the meat and violate his conscience. 7) But a brother with a weak conscience will see you eat the meat and he might be tempted to follow your example and eat the meat also even though the whole time he is violating his conscience. He is sinning if he does that. 8) You perhaps have unintentionally caused him to eat the meat and sin by violating his conscience. He might be thinking, “Jack is a mature Christian so if he eats the meat, I guess I can eat it (and yet the whole time he eats he is violating his conscience and sinning). You have caused him to sin. You might even be arrogant and flippant about it, telling him “there’s nothing wrong with eating the meat, so eat up” without asking him if eating the meat would violate his conscience or not. 10) Paul said that he would never eat meat if it caused a weak brother to sin (as just described).

We skip over to 1 Corinthians 10: 23 All things are permitted, but not all things are of benefit. All things are permitted, but not all things build people up. 24 No one is to seek his own advantage, but rather that of his neighbor. 25 Eat anything that is sold in the meat market without asking questions, for the sake of conscience; 26 for the earth is the Lord’s, and all it contains. 27 If one of the unbelievers invites you and you want to go, eat anything that is set before you without asking questions, for the sake of conscience. 28 But if anyone says to you, “This is meat sacrificed to idols,” do not eat it, for the sake of that one who informed you and for the sake of conscience; 29 Now by “conscience” I do not mean your own, but the other person’s; for why is my freedom judged by another’s conscience? 30 If I partake with thankfulness, why am I slandered about that for which I give thanks?

These instructions in chapter 10 are for the brother who knows it is ok to eat the meat and his conscience doesn’t bother him when he eats. 11) If you have the correct knowledge that there is nothing wrong with eating the meat, then don’t even bother to ask if the meat you buy in the market was offered to idols. Just buy it and eat it. 12) If an unbeliever asks you over to eat, then eat the meat he prepares for you without asking where it came from. It will probably be meat from the market that has been offered to idols, but that won’t bother you and there are no Christians around to be concerned about. 13) But if you are at the unbeliever’s house eating and another guest is obviously bothered by meat offered to idols being served then don’t eat b/c you by eating might encourage him to eat and violate his conscience.

Now to one last section. 1 Corinthians 10:14 Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. 15 I speak as to wise people; you then, judge what I say. 16 Is the cup of blessing which we bless not a sharing in the blood of Christ? Is the bread which we break not a sharing in the body of Christ? 17 Since there is one loaf, we who are many are one body; for we all partake of the one loaf. 18 Look at the people of Israel; are those who eat the sacrifices not partners in the altar? 19 What do I mean then? That food sacrificed to idols is anything, or that an idol is anything? 20 No, but I say that things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to demons and not to God; and I do not want you to become partners with demons. 21 You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons; you cannot partake of the table of the Lord and the table of demons. 22 Or do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? We are not stronger than He, are we?23 All things are permitted, but not all things are of benefit. All things are permitted, but not all things build people up. 24 No one is to seek his own advantage, but rather that of his neighbor.”

This section adds another consideration in the discussion of eating meats or not. You might be one who can eat meats with clear conscience. You might could eat at a pagan feast where the meat is offered to idols. You might be strong enough to eat that meat without being tempted to worship the idol, and certainly the idol is nothing. But you are sharing in their worship just as you share with other believers when you take the cup and the bread in the Lord’s Supper. All things are permitted but not all things are of benefit. It is not wise to eat at the pagan feasts. It will hurt your influence and it cause a weak brother to sin if he sees you eating there. You have the Christian “liberty” or freedom to eat the meat but it might not be best for you to use that freedom.

So where would all this weak brother stuff apply today. The church I grew up in has a lot of such issues. Let’s just look at one: eating in the church building (and having a kitchen in the building). It might sound strange that someone would think that it is wrong to eat in the church building or have a kitchen in the building. After all, the church began in house churches where you would certainly eat meals and have a kitchen. The objection is that there are no “approved examples” of eating in the building. Also 1 Corinthians 11:34 if anyone is hungry, let him eat at home—so that when you come together it will not be for judgment.” That passage is not forbidding eating in the building. The early church had a love feast when they met which was a meal, during which they also took the Lord’s Supper. So the verse can’t mean “don’t eat in the building”. The problem was that they were not waiting on each other to take the Lord’s Supper or eat the love feast meal. They were having cliques and divisions. Paul’s point is that, if you are just at the assembly to eat a meal b/c you are hungry, then eat at home. The love feast and Lord’s Supper should be a time when you all eat together in love. As far as needing an “approved example” to eat in the building, why do you need an approved example. Who says that you can only do something if you have an approved example? Who says that, if you do have an approved example of the early church doing something in a particular way, that that is the only authorized way you can do that?

Having said all that, what if you still have a brother who believes it is wrong to eat in the building. He would violate his conscience if he ate in the building. So your elders decide to have a kitchen and have church meals in the building. First of all, this is not a heaven/hell issue, so you can “agree to disagree”. Romans 14:1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” The one who eats and the one who doesn’t eat should not judge one another. Certainly don’t withdraw fellowship from one another. If the church is having a meal in the building, then the one who feels it is wrong should simply not eat the meal. He should not expect the others to not eat just b/c he is not going to eat. He should not say to them, “if you eat then you will offend me and therefore you should not eat”. We had a lot of people using that logic in my church, but you shouldn’t restrict someone else’s liberty to do something just b/c you don’t do it. But what if a brother feels that it is wrong to eat in the building and yet he has a weak conscience. He sees others eating and thinks, “well I guess its ok to eat since they are eating”. And then he eats but the whole time he eats his conscience is bothering him. He has sinned then. Not b/c the eating is a sin but b/c he is violating his conscience. Romans 14:23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” Your eating might have caused him to sin. So the key is communication and love. You need to make sure that anyone eating doesn’t have a problem with eating in the building. Let everyone know that they should follow their conscience on the matter.

That might sound like a frivolous example but it is a real example. Another might women be wearing the little doily in the assembly based on 1 Corinthians 11 wearing a veil when women pray in. mixed assembly. I won’t get into the right or wrong of the issue itself. But for sure it is not a heaven/hell issue. If a women feels she should wear the doily, then she should do so and not violate her conscience. Those who feel they don’t need to wear it should not judge those who disagree, and vice versa. The ones who don’t wear it should be careful to see if there is anyone who thinks they should wear it but don’t wear it b/c they see others not wearing it, and thus violate her conscience by not wearing it. I know that sounds frivolous, but it is a real issue in some churches.

Another more important issue might be drinking alcohol. If you believe it is ok to drink alcohol, then you need to be careful that you don’t influence someone to drink if they believe it is wrong. That would cause them to violate their conscience and sin. They might see you drinking and think “I guess it is ok” and then drink but the whole time violating his conscience. You may have, even unintentionally, caused him to sin by your drinking. So the key is to know how the other person feels about drinking, whether it is wrong. or not. Tell them to not drink if it bothers their conscience. It is not a heaven/hell issue so you can agree to disagree. I might add this. Even if you have the liberty to drink in moderation, you might decide not to drink alcohol at all since it might hurt your influence. Drinking is such a major issue nowadays. If you go to a social event where there is a lot of drinking, there will probably be a lot of drinking and some getting tipsy or even drunk. You are kinda like Paul’s example of attending the pagan feasts. It might be better if you didn’t drink at all if you attend (you might not have a choice on attending or not) or not attend at all.

I know this is long and drawn out, but a proper understanding of the weak brother issue is important.

EPHESIANS 4:1-5:2 The 2nd and 3rd “walks”

On By nrfaughtLeave a comment

There were 6 “walks” in Eph 4-6. This referred to the way Christians were to live and act as a result of their special calling into the one body (the doctrinal section in Eph 1-3).

2. 4: 17-32 Walk no longer as the Gentiles

Paul had just talked about the church “maturing” (Eph 4:13), and now he describes what a mature church would look like.

4:25-32 But what does that mean to put off the old self and put on the new self. Let’s get specific on what to put off and what to put on.

4:30 A key verse in the midst of this. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. The Holy Spirit is constantly working to help us (through the written word and other ways) to do all this. Just like parents are constantly trying to instill these life principles in their children and it grieves them when their children do wrong and don’t do right. It grieves the Holy Spirit when we don’t. 

Q: Which one (or ones!) of these do you struggle with the most to put away the bad and do the right? 

Q: The “Gentiles” would be the non-Christians around us. Are the non-Christians today really as bad as Paul described them to be? 

Are we really different than them? Do we need to be different like the Amish? Can we be “in the world but not of the world”? John 17:14 I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 15 I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.

Would your friends and co-workers say that you are different? How could they tell a difference?

3. 5:1-2 Walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself for us

This is from got questions.org 

The “walk” of Ephesians 5:2 refers to our behavior and how we act. We walk in love when we act like God. When we behave like Jesus, we are walking in love. Just as children like to imitate their parents, we are to mimic God in the same way Jesus copied His Father’s behavior.

The Greek word translated as “love” in this passage is agape. Agape is sacrificial, unselfish, unconditional love that proves itself through actions. It perfectly describes God’s love for us (John 3:16) and Christ’s love for us (1 John 3:16). With agape, “God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him” (1 John 4:9, NLT). When the Bible says, “God is love” in 1 John 4:8, the word “love” is a translation of agape. God’s nature, His essence, is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love.

The apostle John stressed that, since God loves us sacrificially and unconditionally, we ought to love others in the same way: “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11). Again, we walk in love by imitating God’s love for us in how we show love to others. Jesus taught the same principle when He said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13, NLT).

The apostle Paul gives a detailed description of how to walk in love: “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7, NLT). The greatest virtue we can nurture in our Christian walk is agape love (1 Corinthians 13:13).

In Ephesians 5:2, Paul said that Jesus “gave himself up for us.” Giving ourselves up means offering our lives to God in sacrifice. It means following, obeying, submitting, serving, and living in a committed relationship with Him. Giving ourselves up means walking in love. When we behave like this, our lives become “a fragrant offering” that is pleasing to God and everyone who encounters the scent (Leviticus 1:17; 3:16). Paul urged believers to offer themselves “as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship” (Romans 12:1).

When we walk in love, we show the world that we are true followers of Jesus Christ: “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:35, NLT; see also 1 John 3:14).

As God’s children and members of His family, we are called to deny our own selfish desires and interests for the sake of God and others. Although we are free in Christ, we use our freedom “to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Galatians 5:13–14, NLT). Peter said, “You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart” (1 Peter 1:22, NLT). This wholehearted, sacrificial imitation of God’s divine agape is what it means to walk in love.

Q: Would you friends, family, co-workers, people you do business with say that you are a loving Christian, that they see the love of God and of Jesus in you?

Of course there are different ways of expressing love?

Q: Which of these is your primary way of expressing love?