HOW DO YOU HANDLE A DISAGREEMENT OVER HOW TO BEST DO THE LORD’S WORK? Let’s suppose that you disagree with someone about how to best do the Lord’s work or spend the Lord’s money. Maybe an eldership that is, in your opinion, unwisely spending the Lord’s money on buildings and staff instead of on helping the poor and printing Bibles. You have spoken up boldly and shared your views on how you think things should be done. But those you disagree with do not see the value of your ideas and are not implementing your ideas. Maybe they are even making comments that offend you or hurt your pride. You are tempted to respond rashly and get caught up in a “war of words” with them. That’s probably when you just need to walk away quietly, prayerfully leaving it to the Lord to get things done the way you think they should be done. You can’t make it personal. It’s not about you. It’s. only about how to best do the Lord’s work and spend the Lord’s money. Off course, you could even be wrong in your ideas and the Lord might have a better way that your way.

HOW DID DAVID HANDLE CONFLICT How did David haandle such situations? AI: “David frequently avoided getting “caught up” in petty wars of words, choosing instead to focus on actions, divine trust, or, in moments of crisis, simply walking away. When David visited his brothers on the battlefield, his oldest brother Eliab did not see David’s value and put him down. When Eliab questioned his competence, David did not stand up for his ego. He let it slide. Turn away and don’t spend time trying to prove your value, promote yourself, argue your competence or perhaps respond with an equal amount of negativity. David could have been offended and gotten into a war of words with Eliab but he didn’t. There was a bigger battle of the Lord to fight with Goliath. While Goliath, a giant, spent 40 days issuing threats and insults to “fight with words,” David did not engage in a verbal shouting match. Instead, he made one declarative statement of faith (“The battle is the Lord’s”) and moved immediately to action. Despite being relentlessly pursued by Saul, David refused to respond to the slander and injustice with verbal attacks or retaliation. He maintained his “prudent speech” and refused to take vengeance, often leaving his defense to God. He rashly was about to kill Nabal b/c Nabal had refused to give David’s men food after David had asked very politely and peacefully. Abigail brought David food and asked him not to seek vengeance on her foolish husband. David thanked her and did not attack Nabal. When Shimei cursed David, threw stones, and threw dust at him, David explicitly refused to engage or retaliate. He told his men, “Leave him alone, and let him curse,” choosing not to be dragged into a war of words.  David is often described as looking at problems from God’s viewpoint rather than reacting emotionally to insults. Ask God to give you the wisdom you need to know which battles to ignore at home, school, work, church and everywhere you may find yourself (Joseph Anwana, “The Battle David did not fight”).”

PRAYERFULLY WALK AWAY FROM CONFLICT AND TRUST IN THE LORD You may or may not right now be dealing with a situation like what I described, but I assure you that you will be at some time if you are really concerned about how to best do the Lord’s work and spend the Lord’s money. You must speak up. You must make your arguments. You must try to convince others to see it your way. But then leave it with the Lord. Don’t get caught up in a war of words trying to show your worth or the worth of your ideas. Prayerfully walk away and wait to see how the Lord handles it. Trust that the Lord will bring about the best results.

PAUL’S “SHARP DISAGREEMENT WITH BARNABAS”: The apostle Paul did not always handle such situations well. He had a “such a sharp disagreement with Barnabas” over whether to take John Mark (with them on the 2nd missionary journey that they separated and went different ways. John Mark had deserted Paul and Barnabas while on the first journey. Paul took Silas on the journey and Barnabas took John Mark with him on a different journey. Here are two godly men arguing about how best to do the Lord’s work. That’s understandable and inevitable but when did they resort to a “sharp disagreement” instead of just prayefully discussing it and trying to come to a good resolutiion? BTW it turns out that Barnabas might have been the wiser one in this disagreement. As always, he was the “son of encouragement” ( Acts 4:36 his name translated meant that) and was willing to give John Mark a “second chance” but Paul refused to do that. But 10 years later when Paul was in prison in Rome awaiting his beheading, he told Timothy, “Take along Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service.” (2 Timothy 4:11) So apparently Paul changed his mind about John Mark’s ability to do the Lord’s work after all. But the Lord used the disagreement to perhaps do a better plan that just Paul and Barnabas taking John Mark on the 2nd journey after all. The Lord multiplied one missionary journey into two journeys, perhaps accomplishing more spreading of the gospel.

HOPEFULLY THIS BLOG HELPS YOU IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH A SIMILAR SITUATION I obviously am caught up right now in a situation like I described, so I am writing this to help me deal with it. My emotions are stirred to got caught up in such a war of words, to try to prove my value or the value of my ideas. Even some anger. I hope I can take my own advice, which is hard to do at times! There’s is someone out there reading this blog who is in a similar situation. I recently personally talked to 3 friends who are dealing with a similar situation. We are all frustrated and don’t know what else we can do to advance our ideas. I will share this advice with them just as I am sharing it with you readers.